5 Backup Plans For Parents When Kids Shut Them Out

backup plans

Parenting is one of the most challenging roles to execute. It takes a lot of work and seems like a never-ending circle, from providing food, shelter, and clothing to ensuring safety, support, and control as well as supporting your kid’s dreams. All these can be overwhelming as it often requires a lot of effort but can be truly rewarding.

Nothing comes close to the feeling of watching your child attain their biggest dreams, especially if you were very present all through the journey. No better feeling! But one way to be ever-present for your kids is by having a solid relationship with them.


A Solid Foundation

Strong relationships with your kids form a foundation for shaping their personalities and behaviors. Quality relationships help improve their self-esteem and confidence. Kids develop strong social, emotional, and cognitive skills that’d help them navigate life. When kids know they’re loved, it serves as a propeller to overcome adversities.

Sometimes, your kids could still shut you out irrespective of the effort put in; after all, they’re humans with emotions. Such moments are bound to happen in every parent-child relationship, albeit to different variations. This could leave you clueless about how to fix the relationship. However, if you’re considering a backup plan for this situation, here are options.


  1. Acknowledge the Situation

The first step to solving any problem is to acknowledge a problem exists. Unfortunately, some parents have a perfect family picture that drives them to deny it when there’s a problem. This act can quickly complicate things, as your kids might just interpret that to be deceit. This is why it is paramount to be sensitive to your kids’ behavior and disposition.

When there’s strain in your relationship, find a calm moment to express your feelings to your child. Be willing to limit your words and listen to them. Their reactions may vary but let them know you’re willing to make things work. Remember, the goal is to find avenues for them to open up.


  1. Take Responsibility for the Situation

Sometimes, the kids mess up big time and ought to be the ones apologizing, but they’re grumpy. The onus lies on the parent to look to mend the relationship. Remember that the prefrontal cortex responsible for decision-making and impulse inhibition is . And so, they could still be irrational and need you to be more accommodating.

If you want to make things work with your kids, be humble enough to apologize. You’d be surprised how a simple “I’m sorry.” can bring a swift change to the situation. It will help knock down any defensive walls and allow you to know what’s happening to them.


  1. Ask Them To Help Out

In some situations, you only need a moment to break the ice. All you need is one good intention to spread the feeling. An activity that brings you together naturally. It could be asking them to help while making dinner, eating together, or sharing a story at bedtime.

The goal is to get one-on-one time or team up together. It could be having a parent-child ritual like playing puzzles, journaling, or tending the garden together. One-on-one time helps kids feel relaxed and open up better.


  1. Do Things Differently

Do you habitually shout your kids down when they’re wrong? You might want to replace such negative communication patterns with more positive ones. For example, rather than being imposing, you might want to drop down to their eye level before correction. Also, with a smile, while holding their hands, you’d achieve more when you try to correct them.

Empathizing and connecting with your kids is the key to . When kids observe you understand and genuinely listen to them, it sets a platform for transparency in communication. “I see you’re angry about this… I understand this happened because….” Putting yourself in their shoes helps you achieve more.


  1. Seek Professional Support

If there’s a situation of drug addiction, abuse, neglect, or mental health issues, it is better to seek professional help. Therapists are trained professionals who can help kids with various life challenges peculiar to their age. This doesn’t mean you’re weak but shows you put a premium on the relationship. One such place you can find help is Teen Counseling.

Teen Counseling is a platform where parents can find licensed therapists to help their kids with concerns such as bullying, depression, self-esteem, and more. The platform is uniquely designed to suit the preferences of teens — live chat, videos, and calls. You can find more information through .


Quality Time Creates Fond Memories

The key to having a truly fulfilling relationship with your kids is leaving them with many fond memories. Create quality time to bond with them over various activities you both like. This might require you to get off your devices more often and prioritize them. But all in all, it’s a worthy venture.

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